Nothing shall prevent the “month end” closing on time
Nothing shall prevent me from knowing my cash/stock position at any time
See rule one and two
[DBA]"The database has crashed" - [You] Call me when it is back up and the concurrent managers have started
Obviously you have confused me with someone who cares
or a more polite version
Please don’t confuse me with someone who cares
Where in my job description does it say I should care?
80% of the application performance issues will be caused by 20% of users
During normal processing time users will faithfully promise not to run those high cost reports and processes during peak processing times....but when it gets to month end they will just run them again!!!
Seek out the guilty and make an example of them
If it was not for users the application would run at 100% performance
The only good user is a dead one…. :-)
Last update: Mar 2012